Wednesday, March 12, 2008

What About Bob?

I don't know about you, but I love my kitchen door jamb. Always have since becoming a mom. It's perfect for keeping track of my children's heights over the years. Sure, I had a Peter Rabbit Growth Chart, and a Veggie Tales chart, but nothing is like the door jamb. Granted, I can't just remove the frame when I move, taking it with me, but it my children never outgrow the door - or they haven't yet.

I just know that Brown Eyed Girl is going to give me grief for this. Look at this picture! What a scribbley mess! That M at the bottom is Maybelline, right after we moved in, at 5'6". Her mark hasn't budged in the last year. Then there's O for Oatmeal Head, at what looks like 5'7"-ish. I was complaining, about then, that he needed to stop growing. Partly because I'm 5'8", partly because I get tired of buying the boy pants. This isn't Florida, where he could wear his long shorts through several growth spurts. That first mark was a year ago this coming Sunday.

Above that is Oatmeal Head in May, two months later, at 5'8". Officially as tall as his mother, and 13 years old for only two weeks then. If you look, I marked and marked all summer and fall - probably every time I ran out to Ross to buy another two pair of four dollar camouflage pants - until two weeks prior to Christmas, when he came in at just under 5'11".

Tonight the Hunny and I were in the kitchen when Oatmeal Head walked in, all showered and looking for someone to bug - the boy has a perpetual grin - and grabbed the tape measure from the junk drawer. I had a pencil in hand, so I had him back up to the door. What a relief to find that my eyes do NOT deceive me! No need for new pants! Hallelujah! He's still only 13, and still just under 5'11"!!!

The Hunny was looking at the scribbley mess of a door, looking at all our heights, when Oatmeal Head says, "I'm the tallest one, except for Dad." pointing to the highest mark on the wall. See it? See the highest mark? I did my best to get a clear picture of it, but it's hard to read. It doesn't belong to any of us.

See, here's something that some of you already know about me: I'm very much a can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees person. Which is to say, I only see what's directly in front of me, and only if I'm looking for it. NOT VERY OBSERVANT. I step over things because ... well, if they're on the floor, they must belong there. Right? The sock on the floor - it's there for a reason. It is not up to me to question why. Alright, I've learned to pick up socks. Sometimes. Occasionally. It's hard work for me to recognize that things aren't where they belong. Drives the Hunny abso-freakin'-lutely nuts.

Another thing you probably DON'T know about me is that I tend to be a little sentimental in general, in somewhat queer ways. The people who lived here before we did, who rented this house before the bank foreclosed (we got a great deal), left the marks of their own children's growth. I don't think that I am the one who scribbled some of them out. I would have just painted over them at the beginning if I'd wanted to be rid of them - brushed some Kilz over them. But I left them. I know those people will never come back here. They certainly won't ask for the door frame. I truly hope that someone in the family recorded their growth spurts in a book before they left. But I couldn't bring myself to cover the record of someone's family, even if it's growth measured in feet and inches.

So way up there at the top of the door is not the Hunny, but Bob. Bob. Who the heck is Bob? He's about 6'2", whoever he is. And it was amusing to hear Hunny and Oatmeal Head laughing about poor Bob. What's not so funny is that Oatmeal Head will likely be taller than Bob before we move out of this house. Let's see ... how many pair of camouflage pants do you think I'll have to buy by then?

Until I write again ...

Flea

18 comments:

jeni said...

Holy crap! I cannot fathom how tall OH is getting, and he's not even done yet! Wowzers. Your kids were always tall, but sheesh! I remember coming to church every Sunday, and it seemed like they grew each week! hahaha!! Then again, I am short! lol! It will be so weird when we get to see you guys again to see how the kids have changed.....I looked back at some of your other posts awhile back......can you believe Austin and your Little Guy were only like 3 and 4 when they first met? Amazing. Of course, we have stayed the same age, right? heehee....tell OH, Maybelline, and Little Guy hi from all of us and that we love them!

Mayberry Magpie said...

And I thought I had a TALL boy! Oh, my!

By the way, my neighbor, Marie (lovely name), who now lives across the street from me, lived in a house a block away for years. She recently asked for and received the door frame , which marked the growth of her four boys, from the lovely new owner. I love that story! You CAN take your door frame with you.

Mayberry Magpie
www.mayberrymagpie.com

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

Our 14 year old has been the tallest one in this family for over a year. He is 5' 11" and still growing... I hope he stops. My younger brother is 6'9" and that is not a typo. My son won't get as tall as his uncle. At 14, my brother was already 6'4" and he grew about an inch a year after that.

It IS weird to have your CHILD taller than you. And even weirder when they become the TALLEST in the family.

It bites. Really, it bites!
:-)

Marguerite said...

Sounds like he's taking after Paw Paw. Maybe soon he can start calling his uncle, "Shorty" :P

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I am SOOOOO gonna get John put on Antibiotics before his durgery this time. Those staph infections are nasty!!

Hallie :)

Melissa said...

13 and 5"11, you are going to have a tall boy on your hands and he still has a lot of growing to do, sheesh! I see a lot of pants in your future.

As for Bob, I'm sure he's smiling somewhere knowing that someone is talking about how tall he is ;)

The Sports Mama said...

I can absolutely sympathize with the growth spurts of teenagers! My oldest is 14, and is 5'10". Me? I'm only 5'4".... yes, he thinks he's rather superior sometimes. And then I remind him that I'm the one who cooks his dinner. He goes and hides after that, hoping I'll let him make a sandwich or something. *sigh* Silly boy

Flea said...

Jeni, you knew him before he was Oatmeal Head. Wait - no, his brain was mush then, too. :)

MM - I'm not letting them take my door frame! But I think it's fantastic that your neighbor was able to secure the record of her children's growth. :) Reminds me of a story from a Philip Gulley book.

Beth - my BIL is 6'8". Thank you for the glimmer of hope!

Margo - I can only HOPE he takes after Papaw. Right now he reminds me of your big brother. Even sounds like him.

Hallie - good!!!

Melissa - I like the thought of a smiling Bob.

SM - my boy does the same thing. Unfortunately, he knows how to cook. And how to talk his sister into cooking for him. :)

Marguerite said...

Which uncle do you think I was talking about? That's kinda scary though. :P

Harmony said...

Awww you are too sweet!!

Karen said...

You crack me up, leaving Bob up there and all. How sweet and thoughtful.

My daughter caught up to me this year, but at only 5'0 it's not that great an accomplishment. I truly hope all my kids grow taller than me.

Tammy said...

I do the same thing on my kitchen door jam!

Lori said...

Wow! I need to mark my litte man again. He's only 3 yo right now, but every inch he gains is bittersweet. My hunny is only about 5' 7.5", and I am about 5'10". Hunny really wants little man to be tall like Mommy and I kind of wince and smile at the same time at the idea of reaching UP to hug my son someday. OK, off to cry now!

Straight Shooter said...

I LOVE it! I do the same on a very narrow wall by my pantry. I didn't know others wrote on their walls too! Love it Flea!

Casdok said...

I kept track of my son, its realy interesting to look back on!

Mental P Mama said...

My baby boy Augie weighed in at 5Lbs 11oz at birth. He is 6'3" and 215 at 16 and still growing...I think there was a phase where I was buying bigger pants and shoes monthly. It goes so fast, though. Enjoy these moments!

brneyedgal967 said...

Now why would you think I would give you grief over this? Actually, I would if I didn't have a similar family marking system. Well, I don't anymore. It was left in the old house. And it wasn't on a door jamb, it was on a wall in the utility room. If I thought I could get away with taking a jigsaw and carving out that vertical section of drywall, I would have. And like you, I left the previous owners marks there. And I'd compare my kids at age 4 vs. theirs at age 4.

Tanya Brown said...

I found this post very endearing.