Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I'm All Verklempt

Y'all are the bloggy best friends EVER. I sat this morning and made a list of all of the suggestions and help that you have offered in the bovine disappearance and it is very long. Maybe it will convince Fred and Bessie to come home if they know they're so loved. Provided they have internet access wherever they are. If they're not huddled together on the side of the road somewhere, being splashed by passing cars, barked at by stray dogs, picked up by homeless people in need of salt and pepper. Just in case they're in a Panera somewhere (they love Panera) checking their email and blog hopping, I'm posting the list of things you've all said.

Oh, before I do, here's a copy of their missing poster, if you'd like to copy it t
o your blog, or make fliers, or whatever you think will help. I really appreciate it!

Like I said, I'm touched by your support, generosity and love for the cows. Here's the list:

Mayberry Magpie: She suggested I play some honky tonk music and get out the camera. I tried that and they didn't come a runnin'. It was very sad, listening to Marty Stuart with no dancing cows.

Asthma Girl: She thought they might be in my purse, since they are often stuffed in there for travel. No, they weren't there. Though I did find butter on my credit card. Hmmm. Suspicious.

Dlyn: Hitchhiking. Really? With no thumbs? I don't think so.

Harmony: Maybe they fell into the trash can. That's always a possibility, given the placement of my kitchen trash for easy sweeping of crumbs. But do the children sweep their crumbs into the trash after making their lunch or toast? Nooo! They leave ME to do it! Oh. Sorry. I went through three bags of trash, just to make sure they weren't there. Nope.

Margo: Children's show and tell. Now that gets a little tricky. Only one child is still in elementary, but he denies everything. So I asked his teacher. No show and tell.

Zobabe: She thinks maybe the librarian took off with the bovines, or that Fred ran off with Mr. Hamster, leaving Bessie to run away with the circus. Plausible. But no.

Lori: Suggested I leave out extra butter (I have) and call the school to check on the hamster situation (ditto). Nope.

Mumple: Mumple has a Bee named Frodo, after a co-worker. Poor Frodo. So she feels my pain. She thought maybe the cows were in my shoes. Um, no. Checked.

Poltzie: Said I should look under the counter. I opened all the cupboards first thing, even looked in the drawers, but NO FRED & BESSIE!

Shirley: Maybe they were kownapped, and I should look for tiny tread marks near the butter. Maybe a ransom note. But there was nothing. Just little buttery hoof prints leading away from the butter.

Audra: Her suggestion that I look in the freezer was an excellent one. Until she told me that she keeps her cows in the freezer till she ready for grilling. Uh, no. Thanks. And they weren't there.

Tammy: She also thinks they may have been kidnapped. I mean kownapped. No note, but you never know.

Law Student Hot Mama: Another ransom vote, but she suspects that my Hunny might have had a hand in all of this. Given my Hunny's general disgust with my cow obsession and the lack of housework that goes on, I might be willing to think about that. However, the obsession has kicked up a notch and the housework fallen a notch since they've been gone, so you'd think he's give them BACK. No, I don't think it's him.

Lil Bro: A genius, always, he thinks maybe Lou the Loud played a part in all of this, since he loves milk. I've questioned him, locked him out of the house, given him every opportunity to come clean. It ain't Lou.

Memaw: This is the best one yet, because it's the one I endorse for everyone I know - they went on an adventure. This I believe. After three days and only a couple of clues - especially after finding the photo - adventure might be it.

Mental P: She just misses them. Thank you. I do too. *sniff*

I'm Being Held Hostage and Beth from the Funny Farm both agreed to post the Missing poster on their blogs. Thank you! If we can raise awareness just a little bit, there's a real possibility that these two can be found and brought home quickly. Thank you for doing your part to help.

Laura Peach: She thinks the cows are calling me - mooooo mooooom! That makes me sad. But I like thinking that they miss me.

Mrs. Clark: Yes! THE Mrs. Clark, with the guinea pig and ferret at school! She weighed in and thought perhaps Sir Squeeks behavior, coupled with Mr. Hamster's, might have been enough to push both bovines over the edge. She asked if I'd had the authorities put out an Amber Alert yet. I'm going to get right on that.

Thank you all. Please, head over to Formica Fields for the latest news on the cows. I've posted the picture I found on my kitchen counter this morning. It seems to be a pretty important clue, but still very vague.

Until I write again ...



Anonymous said...

Hope you find those silly bovines soon!

Karen said...

Love the PA Dutch verklempt! And I can sympathize with the kid that denies everything.

Mom Knows Everything said...

If they don't come home soon I suggest you call a physic. Seriously no laughing, it's worth a try. :o)

Anonymous said...

That poster is so funny. I am choking and cracking up all at once.