My Santa Fe friend wasn't able to locate Fred & Bessie at the old depot. She had most of the ransom ready and everything. But she didn't want to leave boxes and boxes of butter out, or stacks of Dove chocolate bars. That's just crazy.
I considered calling the police, but for Pete's sake! What do I say? Just call the police in Santa Fe and say, "Hi, my name is Flea... no, like on a dog. Really. No, stop it. It's F-L-E-A. Yes, just like on a dog. Huh? Oh, I'd like to report a kidnapping. My ceramic salt and pepper shaker cows. No, it's NOT considered stealing, it's kownapping - I mean, kidnapping! They have their own blog, see, and ... really! Me? I'm calling from Tulsa, Oklahoma. No! They really were kidnapped! Look, they've been missing for about a month and ... I didn't report them missing because they were on their way to Washington. I got a ransom note demanding butter and chocolate ... I DON'T KNOW IF THE KIDNAPPER IS A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN. Geez. Actually ... I didn't even think of that. The POINT is, there are two scared little cows somewhere in Santa Fe and I would like to get them home. Stop it! Stop laughing! Oh ... oh ... never mind."
So now I don't know what to do. My poor babies are lost in New Mexico (can one really be lost in New Mexico? You tell me), and I'm stuck. I don't know what to do! Where do I turn? I made a t-shirt over at their shop in commemoration of the bovines. Maybe the kownapper will ask for one of those instead? Here's something like the design:
I hope I see them again.
Until I write again ...