Wednesday, January 21, 2009

And Then the Fight Started ...

A friend of mine in west Texas - an old college buddy - sends me the funniest emails at times. Other times he sends devotionals. But this particular missive is of the amusing variety. Thought I'd share the wealth:

*******************************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage . I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
****
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
A nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
right after we split up those many & years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....
****
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
Little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....
****
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the 20 oz strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And then the fight started.....
****
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....


********************************************************

Not typically my type of humor, but I thought some of y'all might appreciate these. Have a great day - no fighting!

Oh, and if you've gotten this far, send geographic thoughts toward Little Guy today? He scored well on a school wide geography test and was chosen as one of thirty, out of about a thousand, to compete in the school geography bee. Total shocker. It happens this morning at 8:30 CST. The Hunny and I are going to watch and root for him. Go Little Guy!

Until I write again ...

Flea

13 comments:

Karen said...

Congrats, Little Guy! That's awesome. And no fighting, I promise. Those were hysterical.

Marguerite said...

Yay, Little Guy!!! :D

Melissa said...

Wow, congratulations to your Little Guy! Go LG!

Ellyn said...

Sending happy thoughts. I know it is long over now though. Hope he did well.

Flea said...

LG did much better than we eexpected, though we have pretty low expectations of our kids. Heh. He answered three of the first seven questions correctly and was eliminated. Which, for being one of thirty kids, was pretty darn good. And some questions were pretty tough!

Candace said...

WTG Little Guy!

asthmagirl said...

So glad he did well! I know you're proud!

Daryl said...

Another slew of funnies

Mental P Mama said...

I love those giggles. How did he do??????

Egghead said...

My brother actually sent those to me in an email. Still pretty funny.

Snooty Primadona said...

Yup, they all made me laugh, although with tongue in cheek.

;-)

Trannyhead said...

That first one was really fantastic. I'm sure I'll have to recycle it one fo these days.

imom said...

Those were hilarious, thanks for sharing... I needed a laugh today.
Contrats to your little guy! Those Geo Bees are difficult.