So the Hunny and I are talking last night as we're falling asleep - just before he puts on the CPAP mask - and he says, "Your blog is boring me." So great. Now I won't sleep. Excuse me?
Back story: I've been married seventeen years. I've been a writer of sorts my entire life. I'm an introvert. I arrange and compile things in my head before they leave my mouth, as a rule. When I shower or am doing dishes, I don't usually listen to music or daydream - I write letters to people in my head. Long letters. It's how I vent and process. I don't see pictures - I see words. Letters. Words. Sentences. Paragraphs. I love words. Love them. Can you tell?
My Hunny, he's an extrovert. He was dyslexic growing up. He thinks out loud. He's very visual. He's an artist and a team builder, working with words and ideas, but doing so out loud, as part of a group. He wants to know and be known. He's very good at making both happen.
Most of the time we get along well, but he's always been frustrated that he doesn't feel he knows me as well as he should. Like he knows nothing about me. I tell him stuff. But from the beginning, I've asked him to read what I write, including journals. If he wants to really know me, since that's how I tend to express my true self. Makes sense, right? Because I feel like I sure as heck know who he is. He's quite expressive. I like that about him. I feel connected to him. Him? Not feeling so connected to me. We both tend to feel at a disadvantage about that.
So lately I've convinced him to read my blog. I sent him the adoption post the day before it went live. He didn't read it till nearly a week later. I think that's what did it. So he determined to read my blog so he could really get to know me. I'll only have been blogging two years next week. No big deal.
I asked him why my blog bores him. He says he already KNOWS all this stuff about me! He knows I like the wind chimes and the ice. He knows all about the iPod and me and music. I think he's looking for me to be deeply revelational every day. Heh. Ain't happenin'.
Here's the deal: I'm like everybody else. I think deep thoughts. I have deep feelings. But most days I just live. Enjoy life as much as I can. Some days I just get through it. I get excited about stuff and want to tell y'all all about it. And occasionally I'll really be wrestling with stuff and need to talk about it. Often I'll talk in print. But dang - that just doesn't happen every day.
The challenge is to keep the mundane every day crap interesting. So now I have to ask you all - am I losing it? Is it slipping? Be honest. Please. Hunny doesn't count, though. He's already said his piece. And I'm pleased to know that he knows a lot more about me than he thinks he does.
Until I write again ...