Friday, January 30, 2009

Boring?

So the Hunny and I are talking last night as we're falling asleep - just before he puts on the CPAP mask - and he says, "Your blog is boring me." So great. Now I won't sleep. Excuse me?

Back story: I've been married seventeen years. I've been a writer of sorts my entire life. I'm an introvert. I arrange and compile things in my head before they leave my mouth, as a rule. When I shower or am doing dishes, I don't usually listen to music or daydream - I write letters to people in my head. Long letters. It's how I vent and process. I don't see pictures - I see words. Letters. Words. Sentences. Paragraphs. I love words. Love them. Can you tell?

My Hunny, he's an extrovert. He was dyslexic growing up. He thinks out loud. He's very visual. He's an artist and a team builder, working with words and ideas, but doing so out loud, as part of a group. He wants to know and be known. He's very good at making both happen.

Most of the time we get along well, but he's always been frustrated that he doesn't feel he knows me as well as he should. Like he knows nothing about me. I tell him stuff. But from the beginning, I've asked him to read what I write, including journals. If he wants to really know me, since that's how I tend to express my true self. Makes sense, right? Because I feel like I sure as heck know who he is. He's quite expressive. I like that about him. I feel connected to him. Him? Not feeling so connected to me. We both tend to feel at a disadvantage about that.

So lately I've convinced him to read my blog. I sent him the adoption post the day before it went live. He didn't read it till nearly a week later. I think that's what did it. So he determined to read my blog so he could really get to know me. I'll only have been blogging two years next week. No big deal.

I asked him why my blog bores him. He says he already KNOWS all this stuff about me! He knows I like the wind chimes and the ice. He knows all about the iPod and me and music. I think he's looking for me to be deeply revelational every day. Heh. Ain't happenin'.

Here's the deal: I'm like everybody else. I think deep thoughts. I have deep feelings. But most days I just live. Enjoy life as much as I can. Some days I just get through it. I get excited about stuff and want to tell y'all all about it. And occasionally I'll really be wrestling with stuff and need to talk about it. Often I'll talk in print. But dang - that just doesn't happen every day.

The challenge is to keep the mundane every day crap interesting. So now I have to ask you all - am I losing it? Is it slipping? Be honest. Please. Hunny doesn't count, though. He's already said his piece. And I'm pleased to know that he knows a lot more about me than he thinks he does.

Until I write again ...

Flea

28 comments:

Karen said...

I just want to say that I find it amusing that you pre-sent him the post and he didn't read it until a week later. Highly amusing.

Mental P Mama said...

I'm sorry, but I think you are always interesting. I love your creativity, your talent and your stream-of-consciousness style. So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm no help here. Maybe you could come up with one mysterious sentence to say to him at the end of every day--then let's see who stays awake;)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

I think you are fun and expressive and as a blogger I dont expect you to air some deep dark secret about your self each day unless you want to of course but how would we bloggers know whats a deep dark secret unless you told us it was... carry on flea I love your blog... come see marthas hair I was so impress with my first straightening attempt... with her 20 dollar straightener her dad bought her.
I told her her hair looks very much like yours .... she was pleased she likes your hair

asthmagirl said...

I think your post already resolved this. Your stream-of-consciousness style is a revelation to those of us that don't know you, but not new to your hubby. So if he's looking for the deeper meaning he won't find it in your blog. I come here everyday because you're always interesting to me, your fellow introvert, word junkie.

Carry on!

Tammy said...

You definitely don't bore me. Don't worry, I bore my hubby with stuff I put on my blog...either that or I embarrass him with it. LOL

Burgh Baby said...

Let me ask you this--do you write for yourself or for your audience? Cause if you write for yourself, does it really matter if he thinks you are boring? Or anyone else for that matter?

Daryl said...

Ummm ... its a fun blog, your style is your style ... I know... ask him to interview you ...

Trisha said...

Husbands! PErsonally, I enjoy your blog. If I didn't would I still be reading it pretty much every day? Keep on Keepin' on Flea!

Trannyhead said...

Ok ... I'll be honest. There ARE some posts that suck.

*ducks shoe being thrown at me*

Now look, I have some posts that suck on occasion, too. But the trick is you have to look at the mundane and find a way to present it that is humorous or unique or interesting. You have to put a new spin on old material, in other words. Not to say that every one of my posts succeeds in this, but I try to put something into my blog other than just presenting events that happened in my day.

I mean - which sounds better to you?

Option A: "I went to the store and bought an orange."

Option B: "When I was a kid, I hated oranges, and yet here I am today buying them in the store."

*sigh* You DID ask for an honest opinion, right?

Indy said...

You are not boring to me! :) He just knows you.

Warty Mammal said...

You aren't losing it. You have interesting things to say. A lot of life is simply frozen herb plants and children trying out weird hairdos, not trips to Poland chasing international jewel thieves. There's something pleasant about checking in with another person, being able to say "George, Flea's tomatoes are already flowering. Do you think I should give ours some fertilizer?"

As for the marriage end of things, after one has been around someone else a number of years, there's going to be quite a bit of repetition. I like to pay attention, though, because every so often I'll learn something new about my spouse. When I do, it's like realizing there's an interesting, subtle flavor in my stew. How could I have gone all of this time without noticing it?

Karen said...

I'm not bored! Especially after this post! He he he he he. The Rocket Scientist and I went through that about a year ago. So, he decided he was going to read the books I read to better understand me. Funny....I think in the end I just understood him better. (Though he did figure out he needed to be more romantic. Which has been a fun little development.)ehem...anyway....I'm not sure it would be a good thing if everything in your blog was of interest to him. Can you say, "Obsession" not to mention, I am just not sure if there are somethings that hetro guys care about it. I say...no more losing sleep over this issue. :)

LaskiGal said...

I truly do believe it comes down to writing for you.

Now, the question I've often pondered is do I want to record my day-to-day activities as some sort of bulleted list void of any emotion or do I want to record my life in a way that will have me laughing, crying, shaking my head when I am reading the words 50 years (God willing) from now?

So, although I just write, I do think about the WAY I write (this is a lot like what Tranny said). I want it to be memorable, to be honest, but most of all . . . it has to be me.

And if someone doesn't like it . . . I don't care. I don't want you reading anyway. It isn't like there aren't a bajillion blogs out there . . . oh, and books. Lots and lots of books.

Just stay true to you and you'll CONTINUE to be awesome.

Debbie in CA : ) said...

I haven't been around that long so I find you interesting and highly expressive even in the every-day-stuff. I must confess I think like you do . . . in letters and essays and speeches and long, long converstions. My hunny can come in and scare me with a mere throat clearing as I am usually millions of miles away in a thought. I confuse him . . . he loves me any way.

Oh, by the way . . . he reads my blog on a much slower schedule than the world of feeder-readers does (and I know he skips lots of the long posts). He knows me, he loves me, he invents things rather than writes things. We're a great match.

NO, YOU'RE NOT BORING!

Krista said...

I enjoyed your post and comments. I think the fact that you get so many comments say something. So tell your husband to bring you more excitement to write about and shower you with gifts and surprises! I'm one for practical jokes when things get boring.

Jill of All Trades said...

I've just arrived so I can't judge yet but I would not have stayed if I didn't like the read and the company. Continue on.

TSannie said...

Men!

Ellyn said...

I find you entertaining because I can relate to you. I, too, love windchimes and ice. And I am not at your house listening you say you love them. So to me it is new information. I think he expects too much if he wants every post to be as deep as the adoption post.

And a note to Flea's hunny: Not nice to say things like that right before bedtime.

Candace said...

I, by far, do not find you boring. Some days are more interesting than others, but that is the way with all things in life. And I am glad to know I am not the only person that thinks in words and "writes" long things in my mind. I do it all the time and then I am not always sure what I have said/written to someone, and what I have just thought.

Daisy said...

I get a similar comment from my husband, but his is "Why do you call me Husband on the blog? That's a boring name."

mumple said...

Tell Hunny that EVERY. BODY. has a boring moment (or trillion), even HIM.

lol. Mine, I think, wishes I wasn't quite so "out there" and I think he doesn't like my blogs, because some of my funniest stuff is about him. It might be that he knows me so well, and he gets that the funniest Sweetie stuff is tinged with frustration or anger or confusion on my part.

Anyway, Hunny needs to get that there's a lot of sides to you--and your blog shows them all.

Lil' Bro said...

Lost it a long time ago ... :)

Flea said...

How rude. :)

Nipper said...

I love your blog! I read every post and find your sense of humor in the least expected places, which makes me chuckle. I wish I could write like you.

Perhaps Hunny is expecting faster results; in other words, perhaps he thinks you can be figured out after reading one week's worth of your writing. Ha! yeah right. LOL You haven't figured yourself out, why should he be so privileged?

Perhaps you can remind Hunny, that knowing you deeply is going to be a life long journey; a new adventure everyday. To make it more enjoyable for himself, he could pester you with the question "Why?" and then read your answer in your blog.

k said...

As Robin Williams said (kinda) - you can't be "on" 100% of the time. Not every post will be scintillating. But, you've got a great batting average.
You both just need a weekend away from the kidlets.

Mayberry Magpie said...

Asthmagirl totally nailed it. Hunnys always think our blogs are boring because they live it. But for us, it's about making new friends and getting to know each other.

Plus -- and you know this is true -- it looks way easier than it is. Tell him to blog and develop and a faithful readership and, in Dr. Phil's words, see if it's workin' for him. (At least that's what I tell Mr. Mom.)

imom said...

I love your blog and have never found it boring. I like your style, you are definitely not losing it!

Egghead said...

Well I love to come here. I find you very creative and fun. But does he really want to know everything? Really? I think if he did he would not find any surprises around the corner. Part of the fun of marriage.