Y'all, I had no idea. Maybe it's the tuxedo that fooled me. Maybe it's his diminutive size. Or maybe even the ever-present smile. Whatever it is, I took Mr. Monkeysuit for a gentleman. How was I to know?
It seems that my little clip on friend is a ladies' man. Yeah, I know he likes pretty girls. Blah blah blah. But lately? OMG. I'll just have to show you the photographic proof.
One of his tactics is to tell the lovelies that he's a model (the tux seems to be a good angle for him):
Another is the seasonal approach - "Cover me in cranberries and call me a pilgrim!" She wasn't having any of that. Smart woman.
This pretty girl almost fell for the old "Baby, somebody better call God, because He's missing an angel!" Fortunately I overheard the interchange and put a stop to THAT.
But when he started in on the chimp's wife, that's when all h-e-double hockey sticks broke loose.
You don't mess with the chimp's wife.
I thought he'd learned his lesson, but NOOOOOO. What the heck was Mr. Monkeysuit thinking, trying to pick up the sweet chihuahua while her hunny was standing there?
The absolute worst, though, was his attempt to woo my own DAUGHTER. Maybelline is sick with a sinus infection, but that didn't stop Mr. Monkeysuit. And his line? "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV." What a cheese ball!
He wanted to look down her throat (what girl hasn't heard that one before?!), but my Maybelline was smart and refused to open her mouth for him.
He went so far as to demonstrate that he knew how to use the various instruments in the office, asking if he couldn't take Maybelline's blood pressure (yeah, right):
And maybe look in her ear:
But she wouldn't let him near her. Good girl!
And to think - I let him near my grandmother.
Until I write again ...