Monday, July 13, 2009

Funny Bone Monday

Welcome to Funny Bone Monday, the TV show edition! I figure this is the point in our summers where we've played out the camps, games, interesting things to do, and our kids are reduced to TV reruns. Hope you enjoy!

Let's start with one we all grew up with, turning it on it's ear. The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island, courtesy of the genius of Mike Durrett:

Is Gilligan the Devil?

Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called "Gilligan's Island". There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of Hell.

Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:

Ginger represents LUST - she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.

Mary Ann represents ENVY - she is jealous of Ginger's beauty.

The Professor represents PRIDE - he is an annoying know-it-all.

Mr. Howell represents GREED - no explanation needed.

Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH - she has never lifted a finger to help on any of their escape plans.

The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY - again, no explanation needed and ANGER - he violently hits Gilligan on each show.

This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots. Also, it is HIS island. Therefore, Gilligan is SATAN.

Crazy? He does wear red in every episode.

Life lessons from TV:

His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny,
who watched a good many TV, adds, just to
make conversation.

Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and
had to spend them, what would you buy?"

"A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation.

"Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?"

"Well," said Johnny, "I do not know exactly,
but it's sure worth two dollars.

With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to."

This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.

When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men, and she asked him why they were there.

Her grandson replied, "On television, they say, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

Ten Reasons Why TV Is Better Than The World-Wide Web

1. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.

2. When was the last time you tuned in to "Friends" and got a "Not Found 404" message?

3. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.

4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.

5. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.

6. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.

7. "CSI" never slows down when a lot of people tune in.

8. You just can't find those cool infomercials on the Web.

9. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to cable.

10. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a soda in one hand and chips in the other.

All of these are from Basic Jokes!


After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house.

Explaining who he was he asks “What happened?”

“Well,” one of the officer’s says, “It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground.”

The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief… “My agent came to my house?”

What is an Actor?

A man who tries to be everything but himself

11) You end telephone conversations with the phrase, "You are
the weakest link. Goodbye!"

10) You wonder why the people at TV guide have never won the
Pulitzer Prize.

9) Your lifelong dream is to say "Live from New York, its
Saturday Night!!"

8) You keep wooden stakes and garlic handy in case Buffy ever
needs your help.

7) Every time someone angers you, you threaten to "vote them off
the island" the next chance you get.

6) You wonder if the dog from "Frasier" will ever be as big as

5) You write angry letters in Klingon to the producers of Star
Trek wondering why the hell Seven of Nine doesn't get more face

4) You wonder if today is the day the coyote finally catches the

3) You end every conversation with "And that's the bottom line,
cause (insert your name here) said so."

2) You honestly believe that you can pass medical school based
solely on your knowledge from watching "ER".

and the number one reason you know you've been watching too much

1) Every time someone answers one of your questions, you ask,
"Is that your final answer?"

Find these here


And the video of the day? One of my all time favorite shows growing up (and a clue as to where my humor developed) - Welcome Back Kotter!

Until I write again ...



Ellyn said...

Funny stuff, Flea. This the right way to start a Monday.

Mental P Mama said...

LOL. I love the soldiers in your cup....

Daryl said...

I always save Funny Bone Monday for lunchtime .. its a game for me to see how many times I choke or spew due to laughing ..

Karen said...

I miss Gilligan! Some funny stuff.

MaBunny said...

Oh wow, I've never heard that about Gilligan before - interesting. As for the funnies? Thanks Flea for making me give into the giggles!

Connie Pombo said...

Okay, now I'm laughing!!! "Soldiers" in my coffee. Thanks, Flea, you are definitely what I needed today. BTW, I love your new look! Awesome.


Jeannelle said...

Amazing revelation about Gilligan's Island....who woulda thought there was such deep meaning there....

And, I love the tampax joke and the www one.....very clever!