Welcome to Funny Bone Monday, the Egg Edition! I know, right? When you see the video at the end, you'll understand. Hope you all have a great week!
***************************
Cadbury's got it goin' on:
Take a small sticky notepad and place it over the eye of your victim’s computers mouse. When they try to use their computer, the cursor won’t move. Be sure to write “April Fools!” on the note! (Note - if they have a standard mouse, you can perform the same trick by taping a piece of paper over the ball underneath the mouse)
***************************
I just love Basic Jokes:
Question: If a rooster laid an egg on the top of a barn, which way would it roll?
Answer: Roosters don't lay eggs!
Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be!Question: Why can't you tease egg whites?
Answer: They can't take a yolk.Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette smarter than I look!Question: What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
Answer: An eggs-plorer!Question: What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
Answer: New Yolk City!Question: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
Answer: It cracks up!Question: What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?
Answer: Deviled eggs!Question: Why did the chicken lay an egg?
Answer: Because it would break if she dropped it!Question: Where did the chicken go on her vacation?
Answer: Sandy EggoQuestion: Why did the egg cross the street?
Answer: To get to the shell station.Question: Why did the chicken lay her eggs on a axe?
Answer: She wanted to hachetQuestion: Where do you find information about eggs?
Answer: In the hen-cyclopediaQuestion: Why is the chef so mean?
Answer: She beats the eggs!Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be!Question: How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
Answer: By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.
Question: What does mummy hen call her baby?
Answer: Eggs-tra specialQuestion: Why did the egg not draw a straight line?
Answer: His ideas were scrambled
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be!Question: Why can't you tease egg whites?
Answer: They can't take a yolk.Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette smarter than I look!Question: What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
Answer: An eggs-plorer!Question: What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
Answer: New Yolk City!Question: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
Answer: It cracks up!Question: What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?
Answer: Deviled eggs!Question: Why did the chicken lay an egg?
Answer: Because it would break if she dropped it!Question: Where did the chicken go on her vacation?
Answer: Sandy EggoQuestion: Why did the egg cross the street?
Answer: To get to the shell station.Question: Why did the chicken lay her eggs on a axe?
Answer: She wanted to hachet
Answer: In the hen-cyclopediaQuestion: Why is the chef so mean?
Answer: She beats the eggs!Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be!Question: How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
Answer: By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.
Question: What does mummy hen call her baby?
Answer: Eggs-tra specialQuestion: Why did the egg not draw a straight line?
Answer: His ideas were scrambled
***************************
There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the groin and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the groin and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the groin. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Indian said, "Keep the dang egg!"
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the groin and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the groin and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the groin. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Indian said, "Keep the dang egg!"
This cracked me up. There are quite a few versions floating around, but I found this one at an Indian site
***************************
Oh what fun!
What grows on yolk trees?
Egg-cornsWhat's a chicken's favorite tree?A yolk (oak) treeWhat do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-tranceWhat do you call an excited chicken?
Hen-thusiasticWhat do chickens call a school test?
Eggs-aminationWhy did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosserKnock, Knock! Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who?
Chicken your pockets, maybe your keys are thereWhat did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Because the referee kept calling fowlWhat do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on Peck-nics
What does the chicken say to get across a busy street?
Eggs-cuse me, pleaseDefinition of relay....What chickens do when the farmer takes away their eggs.Where do you find information about eggs?
In the hen-cyclopediaWhy did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slideWhat do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?
Deviled eggsWhat do you call a bunch of chickens playing "hide and seek"?
Fowl playWhy can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can’t take a “yolk”Why did the chicken lift weights?
She needed the eggs-erciseWhy did the chicken cross the beach?
To get to the other tideWhat do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
New YOLK CityWhy are chickens so neat?
Because they always have a combWho wrote the book "Great Eggspectations"?
Charles ChickensWhy are chickens good employees?
Because they work around the cluckAren't they delicious? I found them here
***************************
Comedic genius at its finest - today's video!
Until I write again ...
Flea
1 comment:
I always love your jokes but that video . . . . oh my! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! You just have to love Johnny Carson!
Post a Comment