Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I'm Making It Up As I Go

So. Having a cold sucks. Not having any NyQuil? Sucks more.

Monday night I realized that there was no NyQuil left. My Hunny offered to run out and get some, but I had a brilliant idea. One I was sure would work.

Yeah. I'm not so great when it comes to brilliant ideas.

After everyone's asleep (I was hoping, initially, that I'd just be able to fall asleep - hah! Haha! Ahahahaha! Not), I creep out into the kitchen, having already taken DayQuil, and start some water in my tea kettle. Grab the Honorary Texan mug that Snooty sent me. Scoop in some Russian spiced tea (why's it called Russian? And the version I make doesn't have any tea - just some Tang, lemonade mix, sugar and spices. Cinnamon, cloves. Maybe some nutmeg. Other stuff. Dill, maybe? Black peper and sea salt? A hint of sauerkraut, perhaps?). Then head for the liquor cabinet.

Now, when I say liquor cabinet, I really mean the back corner of the corner cabinet in the kitchen where the Christmas brandy is stashed. Christmas brandy? I bought it three years ago for making home made eggnog and that's pretty much all it's been used for. You know where this is headed. Isn't it the alcohol in NyQuil which helps us sleep?

So the cup has the powdered mix in it. Speaking of which, if the powder is all clumped together, is it still safe to drink? Anyway, I pour brandy in the cup. A little splash just doesn't seem like it will do the trick. Put me to sleep, I mean. So I pour some more. That didn't look like quite enough. So I pour some more. About a quarter of the coffee mug full. But it's mixed with powder, so it's not as much as it looks, right? Right? I don't think there's a quarter cup of alcohol in two NyQuil gel caps, but whatever.

The kettle whistles and I fill the mug. The first sip burns its way down, and not because the water is hot. Now I understand all those cowboy novels when they talk about the likker burning the guy's throat raw. Yikes!

But I want to sleep, so I wipe my weeping eyes, blow my nose and take another sip. Ahhh. Much better. Wipe the eyes again. Is that blood on the tissue? No. Another sip. So much better. I can do this. And yes, I start feeling woozy.

Before I know it, I'm at the bottom of the cup. Wishing I had another. Knowing I shouldn't. You'll be proud of me - I went straight to bed. And slept. For about five minutes before I had to BLOW MY FREAKIN' NOSE.

Boys and girls - don't try this at home.

Until I write again ...

Flea

12 comments:

Ellyn said...

Oh I hate being sick. Hope your feeling better soon.

imbeingheldhostage said...

So sorry you're sick, however your stunt was funny to read. Hope you're better soon!! Where did you find a summer cold?

Marguerite said...

Being the "Evil Sister", I must laugh. Laugh Out Loud. You heard me.

Get well soon!

Trisha said...

Oh, Flea! Too funny! I know it is wrong to laugh at someone else's misery but . . .

I hope you feel better soon and that you are using the tissues with lotion so your nose doesn't feel like it is going to fall off!

Mental P Mama said...

Poor Flea! Make a cup of tea from some oregano....you won't believe how much it helps. Swear.

Leenie said...

LOL. Next time take Hunny up on his offer and have him get a good video too--something like Monty Python's Holy Grail. You may not sleep, but with the Nyquil and the movie at least you will be happy.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

flea... the liquer alone would have done the trick... our liquer cabinet is an old flour canister and it houses the half pint of jack daniels from my last drink 22 years ago and the new one some one gave mike for christmas... they did not know we dont drink. HA HA but a hot toddie is much simpler than the kitchen sink you drank... just some lemon tea honey and healthy splash of liquer... then another LOL i hope you slept well! oh and you do realise it is not really going to help much it will however make you not care in the least!

Daryl said...

Did you actually sleep? Alcohol is a stimulant .. not sure its a sleep aid ... BTW . .Nyquil doesnt contain alcohol ...

NyQuil's active ingredients are: Acetaminophen (pain reliever/fever reducer) Dextromethorphan (cough suppressant) Doxylamine succinate (antihistamine) It should not be taken by people who drink a lot of alcohol, who are taking other medicines containing acetaminophen, or who are using a prescribed monoamine oxidase inhibitor. ...

♥georgie♥ said...

I am so sorry you couldnt sleep due to the cold BUT LMAO@your description of the night! oh I so needed this giggle today!

Poltzie said...

You did not actually do this did you ROFL!!! Are you hung over today?
Hopefully you are feeling better soon because this cold seems to have affected your brain :)

Warty Mammal said...

As someone else put it, it may not relieve the symptoms, but at least you don't care about them anymore. Hope this cold goes away ASAP!

MIT Mommy said...

Tee hee hee ha ha ha. I used to drink Scotch with the locals in Japan without thinking about it too much. They were always surprised and I mentioned it to my sister once. Ha! She told me that she never had trouble with hard liquor either and figured that it was all the cough medicine we had as kids. I can't recall the brand now, but as soon as she said it I fell off my chair laughing.

I'd bring you a fine hot toddy if Tulsa wasn't so far away.