The Day Of

Argh! I'm frustrated because I can't seem to edit the photos I want to show y'all! Meaning I can't set them upright when they're lying down. Usually it's not a problem, but today there's an issue. Grr. So you get the horizontal photos.

Oh, BTW? Today's photo montage is quite lengthy, meant more for family, I think. But Mr. Monkeysuit makes a couple of appearances, so if you hang around, keep your eyes peeled for him!

Father of the bride (my uncle) putting the finishing touches on the cake)

The lovely reception hall

My mother and the mother of the bride

The bride and a maid

My very southern second cousin, preparing vases for the tables

Father of the bride, not stressed or sleep deprived one bit. Ha!


The bride's brothers - and one preggers wife

Don't mess up the lipstick!

Almost ready for her closeup ...

Where it will all take place

Who do you spy with your little eye?

The Evil Sister and her Hunny (not quite so evil), who is amused to find a monkey on his back

I didn't plan to match the bridesmaids - honest

My two very favorite aunts and their big sister

I can't help myself - aren't they beautiful?

And isn't the mother of the groom pretty?

The Evil Sister - fear her

And that's it, y'all. Until I figure out how to edit these stupid things. And find the time to do it. Be grateful this is all - I took over 1300 photos this weekend. Many more of Mr. Monkeysuit to come. And photos of Karen and myself tomorrow!

Until I write again ...

Flea

Funny Bone Monday

It's spring! At least, it's spring here in Tulsa! And I've just attended a wedding! I hope you enjoy today's version of Funny Bone Monday!

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Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

(Found at Jokes About Spring)

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?'' The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.' The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'


(Found at Pat's blog)

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Since time immemorial, humor has been used as a buffer to temper emotional situations. Weddings are stirring and poignant occasions. While wedding toasts do make use of emotional words, one could also bring use the following quotes and add that much-needed dash of humor to a wedding toast. Helen Rowland
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -- a practice which is still continued.


Anonymous
Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornados and hail.


Ambrose Bierce
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.


H. L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia -- to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.


Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.


Anonymous
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.


Anonymous
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married... and she didn't have to hear about how well his Mother cooked.


Jule Renard
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.


Nick Faldo
We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.


John Barrymore
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.


(Found at Wedding Toast Jokes)


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As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband NEVER to touch it.

For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box alone until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash.

He took the box to her and asked about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."

Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.

"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.

"Oh, that's the money I made selling the rest of the doilies."

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A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond
ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.

"This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."

"What's the curse?" the man asked.

"Mr. Klopman."

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Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next!"

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. ;-)
(OK, it may be poor taste but it made me smile... Lano )

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Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going to do with the BODY?"

(These all found at Wedding Jokes)

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Until I write again ...

Flea

Pre-wedding Monkey

Oh merciful heavens. I took nearly 600 pictures today. Wore me plumb out. Plan to take many more tomorrow, wedding day. I'll just show y'all a couple, then I'm hitting the pillow HARD.


The bride-to-be and Mr. Monkeysuit


My mother with Mr. Monkeysuit


Mr. Monkeysuit enjoying the luncheon


Mr. Monkeysuit and the LA Tech Bulldog


Mr. Monkeysuit plays golf?!?


Mr. Monkeysuit's just showing off now ...


Mr. Monkeysuit's pretty full of himself, making fun of the mother of the bride and her sister


Look! It's Mr. Monkeysuit and the groom!


Awww! Mr. Monkeysuit and the mother of the groom (we'd all been crying after the toasts)

And Mr. Monkeysuit was pooped and went to bed!
Until I write again ...

Flea

Crap on a Stick, II

Y'all. The most awful thing. I forgot the chimps. And I'm too tired to drag out my camera and download photos. And the parents of the bride are teetotallers (I'm hoping my other aunt brought something fun to share tomorrow night).


But ...






I have Mr. Monkeysuit!


Until I write again ...

Flea

On the Road Again

I'm outta here, y'all. Mom and I are hittin' the road and heading for a wedding. We're meeting Karen in Texarkana for lunch (BBQ). I'll make sure to take pictures. Heh.

The Hunny has made me promise to lay off the Benadryl this trip. I really ruined his welcome home surprise last week by passing out when I walked in the door. Poor baby.

So I'm off to see her


marry some guy I barely know. What if I decide I don't like him and I don't approve? Wait - I really do like him a lot. Not that that matters any.

I'm in charge of the games for the bridal luncheon. What the heck is a bridal luncheon for? They've already thrown bridal showers. There's going to be a rehearsal dinner tomorrow night. Do I bring a gift to a luncheon? What's this about? At least I have games ready.

Time to go. I'm getting the evil eye. And the dogs are panicking because mom's leaving AGAIN.

One last thing - do I bring the chimpanzees?

Until I write again (which will probably be tonight at the hotel) ...

Flea

Spring Break, In Pictures

(my peach tree)

Finally! Spring break is over and I'm home for a couple of days! A couple of days ...

Last week was spent in several places, which I'll be telling with pictures, where I can. First, FYI, I'll be leaving again this Thursday morning early and heading back to Louisiana with my mom to attend my cousin's wedding. So the blogging speed bumps continue.

Monday of last week, having slept four hours after work, I rose at noon, stretched in a leisurely fashion, loaded up the Hunny's truck and drove to Dallas. I'd never been to Dallas. While there I stayed with a friend I hadn't seen since high school. Silly me - I didn't get a photo of my friend, Jill. I did, however, get a photo of her adorable little monkey, Elvis. Er, daughter, not-Elvis:


Isn't she cute? Her monkey gave me the grand tour of the grounds, friend Jill being a phenomenal gardener. I squishy heart her shed!


And her monkey's little village, tucked away under the holly tree:


Sweet, eh?


The chimps cried monkey tears on viewing the grave yard (sheer genius, using giant staples for fencing!):


If we had stayed longer, I think the chimps would have enjoyed getting to know this character:


Next morning we munched on yummy peaches and strawberries:


Having said our goodbyes, I drove FOREVER (all of about ten minutes) to meet Trisha at a fancy French eatery. Check out the fare:


That was my breakfast. Here was hers:


Mmmm! And here we are, smiling about our two hour breakfast! It was as though we'd known each other all our lives. If you ever have the privilege of meeting Trisha in real life? Ask her about her dog adventures. Oh my.


Trisha gave me a couple of beautiful book thongs she'd made herself. She forced me to choose from these:


Aren't they lovely?

Next leg of the journey was to my grandmother's, where I spent three relaxing days, smocking, sewing, making pie, catching up with everyone. And not sleeping much. Ugh. Another story for another day. Oh, and seeing my cousin one last time before she's a married woman. Aren't she and my aunt beautiful?


Check out my grandmother's stand mixer (being used to whip up a lemon chiffon pie)!


Not many photos at this point in my travels. But I did get a shot of the truck's windshield. It's spring in Louisiana and the South. Mating season for everything, including bugs. Ew!


And a shot of the Good Flea in her driving glasses:


I absolutely ADORE Zenni Optical! These are prescription sunglasses, only 20 bucks. So much fun!

And that, my dear bloggy friends, is all. Oh! Except for the part about me being allergic to Louisiana and my head being a mess the entire week. And while driving home, I stopped in Paris, Texas, for something for allergies. Popped into a gas station and found a blister pack of Benadryl, so I bought it, opened it and took the contents. Two pills. I don't often take an allergy med. I had no idea that the dose was one pill.

So Paris is about halfway home. About four hours into the trip. You know where this is leading, right? I get another two hours out and am fighting sleep tooth and nail, when I get pulled over for speeding. I love driving up through Oklahoma, as the speed limit on the turnpike is 75. I was doing 83. And when the kind officer with the wonderful southern accent was running my license, I nearly fell asleep.

Don't worry. I only got a warning. Oh, and I'm still alive. Maybe it was the week's worth of travel crap all over the front seat of the truck. Or my disorientation. Who knows?

So another hour up the road I stopped at a shopping strip and took a nap. Half an hour from home. Because I couldn't keep my freakin' eyes open. The moral of this story? Never take two Benadryl when you still have four hours to drive.

I hope that you all had equally lovely spring breaks. I'll see you all on the flip side of the week!

Until I write again ...

Flea

Funny Bone Monday, Weather

Happy Monday, Everyone! While y'all are out enjoying the land of the living, I'm home sleeping off a weekend at work. Woo. Today's Funny Bone Monday is weather related. As in, here in Oklahoma, the conditions are ripe for just about anything. Enjoy!

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Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself.
"It was the most amazing thing ... it was the most amazing thing." she kept repeating dazedly.
"What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers.
"I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."

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Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."
Submitted by JH

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A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.

The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
Submitted by Dan N.

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A long time ago, in Communist Russia, there was a famous weather man named Rudolf.

He's always had a 100% accuracy rate for his forecasts of the Russian weather conditions. His people loved him and respected him for his faultless foresight. He was particularly good at predicting rain. One night, despite clear skies, he made the prediction on the 6:00pm news broadcast that a violent storm was approaching. It would flood the town in which he and his wife lived. He warned the people to take proper precautions and prepare for the worst.

After he arrived home later that evening, his wife met him at the door and started arguing with him that his weather prediction was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. This time, she said, he had made a terrible mistake. There wasn't a cloud anywhere within 10 miles of the village. As a matter of fact, that day had been the most beautiful day that the town had ever had and it was quite obvious to everyone that it simply wasn't going to rain.

He told her she was to be quiet and listen to him. If he said it was going to rain, IT WAS GOING TO RAIN. He had all of his Russian heritage behind him and he knew what he was talking about. She argued that although he came from a proud heritage, IT STILL WASN'T GOING TO RAIN.

They argued back and forth for hours , so much that they went to bed mad at each other.

During the night, sure enough one of the worst rainstorms hit the village the likes of which they had never seen. That morning when Rudolf and his wife arose, they looked out the window and saw all the water that had fallen that night.

"See," said Rudolf, "I told you it was going to rain." His wife admitted: "Once again your prediction came true. But I want to know, just how were you so accurate, Rudolf?" To which he replied, "You see, Rudolf the Red knows rain dear!"

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Everybody knows about the Fujita Scale which measures the power of tornados. But nobody really knows what all those types of twisters do to COWS. So here is the MOOJITA Scale...
MOOJITA SCALE

M0 Tornado- Cows in an open field are spun around parallel to the wind flow and become mildly annoyed
M1 Tornado- Cows are tipped over and can't get up
M2 Tornado- Cows begin rolling with the wind
M3 Tornado- Cows tumble and bounce
M4 Tornado- Cows are AIRBORNE
M5 Tornado- S T E A K ! ! !

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Every last one of these came from Weather Images humor. Give those guys a hand!

Y'all, when I was a kid, this was my favorite show EVER. A neighbor would come over every afternoon and tell me the jokes from the day's episode. Good times.




Until I write again ...

Flea

Name That Boy!

... and the winner is


MUD! Yes! Mean Uncle Denny is the winner of the Name That Nearly Twelve Year Old, Now a Real Boy Scout contest!

The boy formerly known as Little Guy will henceforth be known as ...


Drum roll, please ...



Red Rocks!

He zeroed in on Red Rocks and BFR, or Big Flat Rock. I think, though, that Red Rocks (in his head) is quite appropriate. I didn't tell him about the "in his head" part. Heh. It's what he chose, though. Sorry Arrow people.

MUD has requested that I not send him a prize. He wants friends instead. Soooo ... why don't y'all all head over and give him a big ol' hello for me? And I'll bring some Community Coffee and Tabasco sauce back from Louisiana and photograph Red Rocks enjoying them both. Maybe even at the same time.


Until I write again ...

Flea

Book Winner!

We have a winner! For the book giveaway, that is! Karen, at the Rocking Pony, was the random choice for the book! A very dubious congratulations on beating out the competition. You other ladies ... my deepest condolences.

Until I write again ...

Flea

Funny Bone Monday, the St. Patrick's Day Edition

Funny Bone Monday, the St. Patrick's Day edition! Enjoy!

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Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.

"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."

O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."

"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."

O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"

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Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

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Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.

To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!

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Mike lay dying on his bed when his wife Brigid came in to him and asked if there was anything he wanted.

Mike said "Brigid, what is that delicious smell coming from the kitchen?"

And Brigid replied "Oh Mike that is a ham I am baking ."

Mike thought, and said "Brigid, as my dying wish I would love to have some of that ham you're cooking."

Then Brigid said "Oh Mike, I'm saving that for the wake !!"

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I must have the luck o'the Irish, since I found all of these in one place! Head to Irish Jokes for St. Patrick's Day to read more!

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Just a couple more, for good luck ...

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, he started to leave.

"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," he replied, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

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Jimy-Joe went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99" replied the shop owner "Give us the lot" said the Jimmy-Joe, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off.

He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur" he replied "but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping"

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And an Irish blessing for good measure ...

Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.

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Those three and more can be found at Irish Jokes & Irish Blessings.

Now! The video of the week!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Isn't JibJab the best?

I'll be out of town all week, so y'all enjoy St. Patty's day for me, 'k?

Until I write again ...

Flea

Fred & Bessie!

The cows have been found!!! Fred & Bessie are in Augusta, Georgia! Hoorah!!!

Y'all, go say hi to them!

Until I write again ...

Flea

P.S. For back story on the cows, head to Formica Fields.
For a look at where it all started, head here. And the entire month of January last year is the beginnings of their journey. The real fun kicked in when they went to the farm!

For fun? Their very first video!

Heads Up!

Hey y'all! Just a heads up for next week - I'll be running the Funny Bone Monday, but I think I'll be out for the rest of the week. I'll be visiting family, and there's no wireless connection where I'll be. Sooooo ... I'll be catching up with many of your blogs this weekend, then seeing you all again in a week!

Until I write again ...

Flea

Arrow of Light - and Contest!

I'm so proud of my Little Guy! Tuesday night he was awarded the Arrow of Light badge, complete with ceremony, and we all, including Grandma, were there to cheer him on. Hooray! I'm going to brag and show off a bit, if you don't mind. Evidently the Arrow of Light is a big deal in Scouts, being the one badge he can wear both as a Boy Scout and a leader later.

Of course, you don't just have a ceremony. A body has to eat first. This is Little Guy waiting on food.


Here are Grandma, Maybelline and Oatmeal Head, also waiting for food.


Stay tuned at the end for Oatmeal Head's solo movie debut. Heh. These are real Boy Scouts, in the ceremony to pass the Arrow to the Cub Scout, who's becoming a real Boy Scout.


A proud Hunny, adjusting Little Guy's new Boy Scout neckerchief for his new troop.


There! Just right.


Little Guy and his Arrow and badge - he loves his Arrow and will be building a display box for it.


Finally, Little Guy with the Natives who performed the ceremony!


I'm so proud! Aaaaand ... I think, since Little Guy has graduated to Boy Scouts, that he should get a new name here in bloggy land. So I'm holding a contest to name my boy! Enter your suggestion in the comments and I'll let my boy judge them and choose a name for himself from the contributions. I don't know, yet, what the prize will be, but next week I'll be in Louisiana and will pick up something special there.

Deadline for entry is Saturday at noon, whatever noon is in your part of the world. 'K?

Oh! Almost forgot. Oatmeal Head's solo movie debut!




Until I write again ...

Flea