At the end of one year and the start of another, many of us will renew our commitment to living with daily affirmations. I know the power of affirming my truth, over and over, everyday! While these may not suit everyone's taste, here are some "possible" affirmations to consider!
1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.
6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.
8. I am at one with my duality.
9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.
10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?
16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.
17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.
These made me think of People of WalMart:
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day. I have found that this really works!!
* 1 Grapefruit
* 1 slice whole-wheat toast
* 1 cup skim milk
* 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
* 1 cup herbal tea
* 1 Penguin Biscuit
* The rest of the Penguins from the packet
* 1 tub of Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping
* 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
* 2 loaves garlic bread
* 1 family size Supreme pizza
* 3 snickers bars
LATE NIGHT SNACK
* 1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
- I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
- I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
- When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
- I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
- I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
- I will think of a password for my computer other than "password."
- I will try to figure out why I "really" need 11 e-mail addresses.
- I will go into McDonald''s and order a McSpreader
- I will go into McDonald''s and order a McSlurry
- I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.