Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Of What Am I Afraid?

Have you ever been so afraid that your throat closes and you can't scream when you need to? That you need to punch or lash out to defend yourself but your limbs are like Jell-o and you can't?

I remember, as a kid, being so afraid that I couldn't scream. I wanted to scream, but I could only squeak. I wanted to lash out, to defend myself, but my arms were limp and ineffective. I don't know, though, why I needed to scream and defend myself. That bothers me.

It wasn't fighting with my brother. I remember fighting with Lil' Bro and beating the snot out of him most of the time. Sorry Lil' Bro. And my best friend, Sheryl, we didn't fight like that.

Y'all ever have this happen as a kid? As an adult? It still scares me sometimes, the thought that I'll be confronted with a purse snatcher and all my best intentions to fight and scream will fail.

I have no clue why I've been thinking about this. It kept me up last night. I just thought I'd share. See if anyone has any insight. Thanks in advance.

Until I write again ...

Flea

11 comments:

judi said...

Had dreams like that as a kid. Lots.
Think it has something to do with control? No control? Whatev, they were scary, still are just talking about it.
hugs, if ya'd feel better I'd let ya punch me in the arm..

rockygrace said...

Yeah, I've had that happen in dreams, but not in real life. Like in a dream, when you try to run away, and your feet just .. won't .. move.

Mental P Mama said...

I hate it when I have dreams like that...are you feeling powerless in some way these days? That's usually what it means to me...

Daryl said...

I have a dream like that where I need to scream but all that comes out is a gurgle .. I actually woke ToonMan one night while having that dream ... I guess he could hear me
'gurgle-screaming' ....

Mattenylou said...

Sad that we have these fears... I just hope the next time I see a mouse my screams will scare him away! The thought of trying to outrun a purse snatcher, yikes! I'd have to play dead! atop my purse, of course.

Warty Mammal said...

Now that you mention it, I have had that fear. I've also had dreams which center on that fear, in which I literally can't yell for help.

It may not be so much of an issue in real life, though. A guy followed my son and I through a parking lot once, when he was just a baby. It made me quite nervous. I found that after I got my son safely stowed in the car, I was able to get my lungs to operate just fine and make quite a scene. Foul profanity, even.

Karen said...

I've had that feeling before. I think when you need it, instinct kicks in and you do what you need to.

Tamacita68 said...

Unfortuately I've dealt with panic attacks most of my life (I'm 41). And my throat closes and it feels like I'm choking and my chest will hurt. I feel paralyzed sometimes. This can happen at Wal-mart, wherever, and I feel like I have to run to a confined space, like my car. With proper medicine, I do better, but it's a very scary and real feeling for people dealing w/ this disorder. Your dream/sleepless night might have been stress-related from day before...

TSannie said...

I hate it when I let negative thoughts take over like that. And if you figure out how to get them to stop, let me in on your secret.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I've done that as a kid and an adult. And I dont like it. It is scary, but I have no idea why it happens. Google it and see if you can find anything.
<><

Karen Deborah said...

only in my nightmares--same ones where I couldn't get through the fog because my legs were so heavy, or couldn't cross the street because it just kept getting farther away---does anyone analyze how nuts we all are?