Monday, May 24, 2010

Funny Bone Monday

Oh, it's that time again. Time for another Star Wars Funny Bone Monday. One can never have enough Star Wars humor. Especially since I was introduced to a new video which I just HAVE to share! Enjoy!

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Top 10 Reasons Anakin Skywalker Went to the Dark Side

1. Wanted cool voice like James Earl Jones'

2. Owed money to Jabba the Hutt, could refinance debt through the Empire

3. Wanted to use the Force to prop up Chrysler stock

4. Charmed by Emporer Palpatine's seductive after-shave

5. Misunderstood name, thought the "Dirk Side" was fan club for pretty-boy actor Dirk Benedict

6. Kicked in head by bantha

7. To impress the babes

8. To escape cruel taunting over dorky name

9. Sick and tired of mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi reciting lines from "Bridge over the River Kwai"

10. Generous Dark Lords of the Sith pension plan

Q&A

Q: When did Anakin's Jedi teachers know he was going bad?
A: In the Sith Grade.

Q: What do you call a Sith who won't fight?
A: A Sithy.

Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.

Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.

Q: How many Sith does it take to screw in a hyperdrive?
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in it.

Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.

Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship might crack up.

Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter.

Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.

Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!

Squidoo has Star Wars Humor!
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More Squidoo Star Wars visual humor!
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Oh my. These are sad. If you're not a hard core fan, you may want to skip them.

Signs That You May Be a Complete Star Wars Addict:

  • You watch the entire trilogy at least once a month.
  • You don't need a TV and VCR to watch the movies.
  • You know at least 10 Star Wars website addresses by heart.
  • You know all the forms in which it's been released (theater, Pan &Scan video, Letterbox, Laserdisc, etc.) and know the differences between them.
  • You can recite *all* the dialogue from the entire trilogy.
  • You quote the trilogy at apropos moments.
  • You draw comparisons to Star Wars in casual conversation.
  • You shell out 10 bucks for a magazine that describes the planet Tatooine.
  • When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, your reply is, "Unexpected this is... and unfortunate!"
  • You know the names of all major cast members and what they're doing now.
  • You have a list of major bloopers and inside jokes in your head.
  • You would feed yourself to the rancor if it meant finding out the name of Anakin's wife.
  • You're always game to hear the latest rumor about the new films.
  • Even if you don't buy the spinoff material, you know it's out there, who wrote it, who published it, and you can probably give a synopsis of it.
  • You can pick more nits out of a spinoff novel than Lucas himself.
  • You hunt through ROTJ frame-by-frame searching for the shoe.
  • You have gone over ANH and ESB frame-by-frame, just in case someone put a shoe in there, too.
  • You think John Williams is the greatest composer ever lived.
  • You wonder why the SW theme never makes it into any of those "Classical Collections"...
  • You make lists like "101 Uses for An Ewok," OR "Signs You May Be a SW Addict!" (no comment)
  • Your internet handle or signature refers to Star Wars.
  • Your friends regularly quiz you on SW factoids.
  • Whenever you buy a new appliance, you always make sure and get that one that speaks Bocce.
  • You know more about the major characters' personalities than Lucasfilm does.
  • When something is just out of your reach, you close your eyes and try to "force" it into your hand.
  • When your professor hands you back a paper and says, "Commas are your weakness," you retort, "And your faith in your friends is yours!!"
  • You know all the words to that Ewok song.
  • Everytime someone tells you one of their deepest secrets you gloat and say, "You're far too trusting."
  • You insist on telling people the odds about everything!
  • People tell you to stop saying, "I have a bad feeling about this" so often.
  • You are counting the days until movie one of the prequels.
  • You can't pick up a flashlight without waving it around and humming.
  • You think the babblings of Yoda are relevant and useful to everyday life.
  • When you experience insomnia, you begin counting nerf.
  • You know what a nerf is.
  • When you put Star Wars in the VCR and push "play," it's like you're being transported to another world.
  • Someone mentions being abducted by little green men and you respond by pointing out that Yoda would never do such a thing!
  • You find yourself discussing characters from the books and movies as if they were actually old friends of yours.
  • You don't need subtitles when an alien speaks in one of the movies.
  • You have a pet named after one of the characters.
  • You have a child named after one of the characters or stars.
  • You truly believe you are strong in the Force.
  • Yoda and Ben appears to you in your dreams and you take their advice on a regular basis.
  • A SW *.wav file plays on your computer whenever you do a windows application.
  • You truly believe, after 13 years, that the new movies will be released any day now.
  • When you get in trouble and your parents decide to punish you, they know that the only way they'll get through to you is by taking away your privilege to watch Star Wars.
  • You dream about Star Wars, both at night and during the day.
  • When you read SW books, you can see it happening in your head.
  • You can't read a quote from one of the movies without acting like the person who actually said it!
  • James Earl Jones will ALWAYS be Darth Vader to you, no matter what other role he is in.
  • You are saving your money now. Because the special editions and prequels are coming out soon and you know that what you want to do will require a lot of money!! :)

  • I found them here, along with some other pithy SW stuff

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    Said video - I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!






    I wanna be a life time member. Can I just tell you how tempting it was to be all video today? This stuff is golden!

    And my friend, Angie, recommended this one:




    And of COURSE, there's Yoda ...



    Until I write again ...

    Flea

    7 comments:

    Marguerite said...

    LOL! I like the list.

    You will probably be happy to hear that you don't have to sign me up for rehab just yet, but I must confess that I did "inhale". :P

    Karen Deborah said...

    The Yoda song is better tha the Lola song! That could go viral....

    MUD said...

    Yes, I have the Star Wars complete collection and the Alien Legacy. I don't watch it every weekend but probably once a year I dig them out and watch. MUD

    Daryl said...

    Too funny or just funny enuf .. no matter I laffed a lot

    ♥Georgie♥ said...

    LMAO! LOVE the list! LOVES it! so needed the giggle today...laughter it's good medicine!

    Mental P Mama said...

    You are sick. You're welcome.

    Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

    Therapy needed!
    <><