Monday, September 20, 2010

Transitions

So I was at work last night (my weekends are busier than weekdays), and was surrounded by ten and eleven year old girls. They're such cuties, not yet boy crazy, dancing and climbing things. Trying to decide if it's okay to still be a tomboy, or if it's time to grow up, wear makeup. They want both.

One of them asked a question about my hair. I've been quite unhappy with my hair lately, letting the grey grow in, itching to color the ugly grey. My own version of remaining young or aging with dignity. I don't do much with dignity, so this is a surprisingly difficult decision.

Loud enough for all of them to hear (20 kids in a small room), I said, "I'm thinking of shaving my head."

Twenty pairs of eyes fixed on me. I swear I heard leaves rustle in the trees outside. No one moved. I was expecting at least one girl to burst out laughing.

Finally I relieved them with, "I'm just kidding."

But I forget sometimes how fragile girls can be. How gullible. How fragile and gullible we all can be. I saw myself, for a fraction of a second, through their eyes. An adult. A woman. With thick wavy hair and cool barrette. Contemplating the unspeakable.

I really was considering shaving my head. It would be cruel, though, to do that to those girls. Maybe I'll take a friend's suggestion and color with wash out till I can get the permanent color cut off.

Odd, isn't it, how being an adult means not doing things for yourself, but for the people you love. Even when they're not your kids.

Until I write again ...

Flea

8 comments:

Marguerite said...

Well, if you shave it, you could wear cool scarves... But I like the wash out option. I'm pretty sure I'll be going that route soon as well.

Mental P Mama said...

I am voting for the wash out option too. You have a beautiful head of hair--lucky duck;)

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Go with the washout. I am much to vain to let my hair be gray!
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judi said...

think jamie lee curtis... that's what I did. arg. everyone in my family loves it, my friends love it, me? not so much.
I eased in to the gray with wash out also.

Diane said...

Go with the washout. One of my friends did and I love her hair!

CanadianMama said...

I'm glad you are back - I missed posts like this!!

Leenie said...

Spent Saturday morning with a gaggle of girls that age. What a joy to be with! So full of bounce and silly yet trying at off moments to grow up and be serious. Haven't yet decided that adults are an annoyance. In fact they usually trust what you say, even if you tell them you're going to shave your head.

Tiaras said...

this is so true- but don't shave your head! hee hee - I'm partial to hair - a bit obsessed you might say (hee hee at myself)