Happy Birthday, Oatmeal Head!

Happy Birthday, Oatmeal Head! Sixteen is no laughing matter, you know. Unless your mom is me. :)

It's been a good 16 years. Now just work on those grades, will ya?

Until I write again ...

Flea

The Penitent Man

I have this cousin, see. I babysat him when he was eleven or twelve. Held his pet boa constrictor. Discovered Nickelodeon because of him. He's older now. That was nearly 20 years ago. How old is he? Take a look. He's the lead in this new film, The Penitent Man:

I'm wondering what it will take to get the movie out here to the middle of the country, since it seems to be hanging out on the west coast at the moment. Cousin Patsy? Help me out? Maybe some of my west coast bloggy friends have access and can let me know if they like it?

Until I write again ...

Flea

Her Mother's Hope Winner

Before I announce the winner of the book giveaway for Her Mother's Hope, by Francine Rivers, I'd like to do a little review. I'm not a very good reviewer, but I will give you my overall feel for the book. Honestly.

This book looks bigger than it is. It's definitely an epic tale, starting prior to WWI, the story of a woman driven/running from home in Switzerland and eventually making it to America. The second half of the book (which made me bawl like a baby), is the tale of this woman's daughter. The book is 483 pages long, but the print is large-ish, making for a quicker read than I expected - two days for me. Which is to say that it took awhile to get through.

It's a story of anger and bitterness. Of pulling one's self up by the boot straps. It's hard work and misunderstandings. The marriage in the story breaks my heart and makes me smile all at once. The children's perspective of their parents does the same thing. It made me wonder how my own children see me and the Hunny. There's tragedy, hope, frustration, pain.

All that said, I still felt like the characters were deep pockets of personality in a few places, but that their lives were glossed over in parts where I wanted to know more. If it's going to be epic, dig in deep. But I truly did love this book. I could relate to the women on different levels.

BUT! There's going to be a second book! It comes out in the fall. So I get all the way to the end and *gasp* there's no ending! There is, but it's not what I wanted. So. Mrs. Rivers. Get the second one out already! I'll be lining up to read it!

Now! The winner of the book giveaway! Drumroll, please ...

Trisha, of In My Dreams I Can Talk! Hoorah! Trisha, I'll probably be shipping the book about the same time I ship Daryl the cows, which will be later in the week (still putting finishing touches on cows).

Until I write again ...

Flea

Funny Bone Monday

Happy Funny Bone Monday! Today's topic was decided by Maybelline. She chose the first video below. A warning to those over a certain age - you may not get this one. I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Bob. Enjoy your poetic humor today, bloggy friends!

Oo! Oo! Don't forget to head here to enter the book giveaway! I'll be reviewing it tomorrow, along with an announcement of our winner. Deadline is midnight tonight!

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This person's poetry makes me smile. You can find it at Funny Poetry dot com.

On the Relative Value of Food Groups

What's all this about wanting
Peas on Earth all the time?

What's wrong with corn, or carrots?
Why don't we ever wish for "World Broccoli!"?

Or ask our children for a little "Cucumbers
and Quiet!"?

Why is it, when we're troubled,
we never pray for "Inner Apricots"?

How did this incredible obsession
with vegetables,
ever begin?

It might just be, however:
that if everybody gardened;
they'd all get along
better
with most of their neighbors.

© Elas Giordano 1995
funnypoetry.com

Couch

<I remember telling a friend
that what he called
"love"
the rest of us referred to as
"sneezing"

I don't wish to upset

but in this light
with that hair...

I may have a
cold
coming
on

© Elas Giordano 1995
funnypoetry.com

**********************

I found this at a fellow's site, here. The intro alone made me laugh:

The signature on this one is Opal Hendricksen. That’s all I know about it, except to say that it’s very funny. And even though I’m a man I get it. Others who read it laugh all the way through. It must be one of those universals.ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM

For years ’n years they told me;
“Be careful of your breasts.
Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.”

So I heeded all their warnings
And protected them by law…

Guarded them very carefully,

And always wore a bra.

After 30 years of careful care

The doctor found a lump.

He ordered up a mammogram

To look inside that clump.

“Stand up very close.” she said,

As she got my boob in line,

“And tell me when it hurts,” she said,

“Ah yes! There! That’s just fine”.

She stepped upon a peddle…

I could not believe my eyes!

A plastic plate was pressing down…

My boob was in a vice!

My skin was stretched ’n stretched

From way up by my chin,

And my poor boob was being squashed

To Swedish pancake thin!!

“Take a deep breath,” she said to me.

Who does she think she’s kidding?

My chest is smashed in her machine,

I can’t breathe and woozie I’m getting.

“There, that was good.” I heard her say

As the room was slowly swaying,

“Now let’s get the other one.”

“Lord, have mercy,” I was praying.

It squeezed me from the up and down.

It squeezed me from both sides.

I’ll bet she’s never had this done

To her tender little hide!

If I had no problem when I came in,

I surely have one now…

If there had been a cyst in there,

It would have popped, KER-POW!!!

This machine was made by man,

Of this I have no doubt…

I’d like to get his balls in there,

For months he’d go “without”.

And omigosh, this made me laugh! Found it here:

Introduction

When organ meats were very cheap
My frugal mother used to keep,
For Crepe D'Chine, our "tomless" kitty,
A chopped-up stash. It kept him pretty.

One day a very British guy,
A friend of Dad's from work, came by.
Crepe approved, so when he sat,
Zap! The chap's lap was full of cat

Before Purina

"Lovely cat," murmured our English guest,
Stroking Crepie's side.
"What do you feed him, if I might ask?"
"Beef heart," my mother replied.

"Sounds frightfully insubstantial,"
Opined the British gent,
"Unless, of course, the bee were HUGE,
And EXTREMELY flatulent!"

Copyright; Tad Lawson
Email: tagady@aol.com

**********************

An oldie but a goodie. Makes my kids laugh every freakin' time they hear it.

A Boy Named Sue

by Shel Silverstein

Well, my daddy left home when I was three,
and he didn't leave much to Ma and me,
just this old guitar and a bottle of booze.
Now I don't blame him because he run and hid,
but the meanest thing that he ever did was
before he left he went and named me Sue.

Well, he must have thought it was quite a joke,
and it got lots of laughs from a lot of folks,
it seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
and some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue.

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean.
My fist got hard and my wits got keen.
Roamed from town to town to hide my shame,
but I made me a vow to the moon and the stars,
I'd search the honky tonks and bars and kill
that man that gave me that awful name.

But it was Gatlinburg in mid July and I had
just hit town and my throat was dry.
I'd thought i'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon in a street of mud
and at a table dealing stud sat the dirty,
mangy dog that named me Sue.

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
from a worn-out picture that my mother had
and I knew the scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old
and I looked at him and my blood ran cold,
and I said, "My name is Sue. How do you do?
Now you're gonna die." Yeah, that's what I told him.

Well, I hit him right between the eyes and he went down
but to my surprise he came up with a knife
and cut off a piece of my ear. But I busted a chair
right across his teeth. And we crashed through
the wall and into the street kicking and a-gouging
in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell you I've fought tougher men but I really can't remember when.
He kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laughin' and then I heard him cussin',
he went for his gun and I pulled mine first.
He stood there looking at me and I saw him smile.

And he said, "Son, this world is rough and if
a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
and I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I gave you that name and I said 'Goodbye'.
I knew you'd have to get tough or die. And it's
that name that helped to make you strong."

Yeah, he said, "Now you have just fought one
helluva fight, and I know you hate me and you've
got the right to kill me now and I wouldn't blame you
if you do. But you ought to thank me
before I die for the gravel in your guts and the spit
in your eye because I'm the nut that named you Sue."
Yeah, what could I do? What could I do?

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun,
called him pa and he called me a son,
and I came away with a different point of view
and I think about him now and then.
Every time I tried, every time I win and if I
ever have a son I think I am gonna name him
Bill or George - anything but Sue.

**********************

Poetic video humor!

And what is more poetic than song? You know what's coming. You know you do. You don't have to go any further. Really. Don't say you weren't warned. It helps that the topic is one of my favorite sites.

I have to remind myself to breathe and think happy thoughts when I sing this one in the car.

Until I write again ...

Flea

Tribute to CJ Twomey

Today's post is in honor of a good blog friend, one who lost her oldest son just over a week ago. Hallie, your CJ is loved and missed. I've been praying for you and your entire family since hearing the news.

The following was written by Hallie's close friends, Dayna and Kimmy. Please show your support of the Twomey family and head to Hallie's blog, Wonderful World of Wieners, to see what you can do?

Written in Loving Memory of

Christopher John “C.J."Twomey

on behalf of Hallie, John and Connor Twomey

by Dayna and Kimmy

Words are at times, inadequate, and often hard to come by.This is the hardest thing we have ever had to write. It is with deep sadness that we tell you that on April 15th, Christopher John “C.J." Twomey, the beloved son of Hallie and John, big brother to Connor, passed away unexpectedly, leaving behind his heart-broken family and friends.

Please take a moment to read his obituary. In the middle of all their sadness, Hallie and John were able to find the strength to write a beautiful and loving tribute to their amazing son.

Those who loved C.J. are left to miss his infectious smile, to wish to hold him again, to have him saunter into a room and make us all laugh. We wish we could talk to him, to watch him love the way that he did, with his whole heart. In short, those who loved C.J. are longing for the future we were all supposed to have with him. Hallie and John are heart-broken, are struggling to understand the events of the past week and are focusing on making sure their son Connor, who has shown grace and maturity well beyond his 16 years, knows and feels the love of his parents at this very difficult time.

Hallie, John and Connor have received an overwhelming amount of support over the last week from friends nearby who have stood with them through horrific circumstances, to the calls of support and the messages sent through text, email,Facebook and many other mediums. They know that so many of you are hurting as well.

Even in the mist of incomprehensible pain, Hallie and John continue to think of others. Despite their own pain, they remembered the pain of Hallie’s dad as he was waiting for a heart and became a recipient himself. In C.J.'s final hours, Hallie and John made the heroic decision to donate his organs. This week, 56 families felt the joy of hope for their family, even in the darkest moments forC.J.’s family.

Many have asked what they can do for the family and we have thought of a few suggestions:

Pray for comfort. Hallie, John, Connor and their extended family have pain that is indescribable; please offer up prayers that comfort can come to them.

2. Continue to send messages of support.The messages of support they have received mean more than they can express right now. Messages sent throughFacebook, her Blog, or for those who have the ability, text messages of support are appreciated. While they are not able to respond, they are reading them, and it does lift them in support when one more step or one more breath seems like it’s just too much to take.

3. Make a donation. Kimmy and I have set up a fund called the "Twomey Family Benefit” for the family to use as they see fit – for funeral expenses, for a memorial for C.J. or maybe even to just be able to get away as a family and spend time grieving the loss of their beloved son.Many of us felt the need to do SOMETHING, and being far away, and knowing that we can't take away the emotional burden, this felt like something we could do to help.

If you are inclined to make a donation, you can simply walk it into any TD Bank and ask to make a donation to the "Twomey Family Benefit" (these exact words must be used). If, however, you do not have a TD Bank near you (as they are only located on the East Coast) you can simply mail a check to:

TD Bank

200 US Route 1

Falmouth, ME

04105

The checks should be made payable to the: “Twomey Family Benefit” and should also include those exact words in the memo line of the check.

Any questions can be directed to Kimmy at: kimmy@maine.rr.com

We know that this time, for all of us, is shocking and difficult to comprehend a life cut so short. We hope and pray that you can take a moment to hold those you love tight, tell them you love them and cherish every moment.

Love like C.J. did, with his whole heart, and give to others freely.

May we all find comfort...

Dayna & Kimmy

Fred & Bessie's New Home

We have a winner! Fred and Bessie have a new home, with commenter number five. Ready? She's the hostess with the mostest and bestest photos ever - Daryl! The Random Number Generator has spoken, and so it is.

Thank you, everyone, for entering. This is always a treat for me. :)

Congratulations, Daryl!

Until I write again ...

Flea

Contests Galore!

So! There's a contest ending tonight, the giveaway of the burnt cows! Enter now!

AND! The contest of the book giveaway, Her Mother's Hope! I'm halfway through the book and liking it. OMG - chapter 19? Bawled like a baby. Not usually a big Francine Rivers fan, but this book is good. The dynamic between husband and wife, mother and daughter - wow.

One more thing! My mom handed me a business card and asked me to tell y'all about this fellow's roses. They're not real. But she says they're beautiful and they smell good. So go check them out, will ya? My mommy said to.

Okay, then. I'll be announcing the cow winner Friday. Probably announcing the book winner along with a review on Tuesday of next week. So you have till Monday night to enter that one.

Enter! Now!

Until I write again ...

Flea

Funny Bone Monday

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

Happy Funny Bone Monday! Y'all, I am open to humor ideas any day of the week. After a year and a half, I feel like I've run through anything and everything. Any suggestions for next week?

This week - in order to prove my point - is random humor. It may all be duds. We'll see as we go along, shall we?

*************************

I'm starting with my favorite of all humor topics - the blonde joke!

So a blond was speeding down the highway. All of a sudden she gets pulled over (obviously because she was speeding.)

The cop who pulled her over was also a blond (uh-oh)... The cop says "Ma'am i need to see your drivers license ID."

The driver was confused, being blond and all.

So, the cop decides to remind her what an ID is. "Ma'am its a rectangular thing with your picture on it"

The blond still has no idea, but looks for it anyways. So funny them blonds. She pulls out a rectangular mirror and hands it to the cop.

The blonde cop says to the blond driver, "Oh, sorry ma'am if I had known YOU were a cop too, I wouldn't have pulled you over."

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, 'It's just 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull.'

Found at Clean Jokes

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"

Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!"

Found at blonde jokes

*************************

Yo mama is so fat... she went to KFC and asked for the bucket on the roof.

Yo momma is so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo momma is so fat, her belt size is equator.

Yo momma is so fat, she's the reason why they changed one size fits all to one size fits most.

Yo momma is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell down, the radio skipped.

Yo momma is so fat, she stepped up on a scale and it said, "One at a time, please!"

Yo momma is so fat, she stepped up on a scale and it said, "We don't do livestock!"

Yo momma is so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

She's Ugly:

Yo momma is so ugly, she doesn't have to buy a costume for Halloween parties.

Yo momma is so ugly, when she stares into a mirror, her own reflection runs away.

Yo momma is so ugly, it is now against store policy at WalMart to serve her at the portrait studio as it constitutes as cruel and unusual punishment that goes against the Geneva Convention.

Yo momma is so ugly, she's got a face for radio.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made Ray Charles flinch.

She's Dumb:

Yo momma is so dumb, she sat for an hour and a half trying to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Yo momma is so dumb, she runs out and checks her mail box every time AOL tells her, "You've got mail!"

Yo momma is so dumb, she was driving to Disneyland only to see a sign that said, "Disneyland, left." So she turned around and went home.

These are from Clean Jokes. I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Bob.

*************************

When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.

I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.

I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.

When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................

"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

These I found at Jokes Clean

*************************

I love random FBMs, since I get to play whatever fun video I choose. In fact, I asked the Hunny for his favorite vid and first up is his vote!

This is his next favorite:

Well heck. Let's keep this one going:

And more!

Until I write again ...

Flea

Her Mother's Hope, with Giveaway

Y'all know that once in a while I run an interview with an author in exchange for a book, which I usually give away. Today is one of those times. Except, I haven't read the book yet! A little snafu with shipping, but the book has arrived and I'm already, 20 minutes in, hooked.

Better yet, this book, Her Mother's Hope, is by a fantastic author, Francine Rivers. Yes, I'll be giving her book away. When I'm done with it, of course. I'll also be posting a review closer to the end of the week. What fun!

On to the interview!

************************

Tell us about your current work.

I have just completed the second in a set of two books about mother-daughter relationship over four generations. This was intended to be one long novel dealing with the different ways generations have lived out their faith – but became so long it needed to be divided. Her Mother’s Hope was released on March 16, 2010. Her Daughter’s Dream will follow in September. There are numerous family and personal details woven into both books and I plan to share those things on my blog. You may find out more about my new book and more by visiting my web site at www.FrancineRivers.com

How did you get started as a writer?

From the time I was a child, I knew I would be a writer. Because I didn’t know what I would write, I majored in English (emphasis in literary writing) and minored in journalism (emphasis on who-what-when-where-why). My parents had always been non-fiction readers. Rick’s family loved all kinds of books – and lots of fiction. Mom Edith loaned me novels and I loved them. On a dare (from Rick) I decided to write a combination of my favorite genres and wrote a “western-gothic-romance”. Romance novels were booming in the general market, publishers were on the look-out for new writers. My first manuscript sold and was published. I was hooked! I followed with eight or nine more (of what I call my B.C. (before Christ) books). They are all now out of print, are never to be reprinted, and are not recommended.

When I turned my life over to Jesus, I couldn’t write for three years. I tried, but nothing worked. I struggled against God over that because writing was my “identity.” It took that period of suffering “writer’s block” to bring me to my senses. God was trying to open my eyes to how writing had become an idol in my life. It was the place I ran to escape, the one area of my life where I thought I was in complete control. (Hardly!) My priorities were all wrong and needed to be put right. God first, husband and children second (we had three children by then) and third-- work. I prayed God would change my heart. My love for writing and reading novels waned and my passion for reading and studying God’s Word grew.

Rick and I began hosting a home Bible study. I began working with Rick in his business. The children came along and played in the office, hiding in the shipping popcorn. Writing ceased to matter. I was in love with Jesus and my husband and children. God never stops with the transformation process. We began studying the book of Hosea, and I sensed God calling me to write again – this time a romance about Jesus’ love for each of us. Redeeming Love was the result. It is the retelling of the Hosea story, set in Gold Rush-era California. After I turned it in, I wasn’t sure whether I would write anything more. I had so many questions about what it means to be a Christian, how to live for God, different issues that still haunted me. I felt God nudging me toward using my writing as a tool to draw closer to Him. I would ask my question, create characters that would play out the different viewpoints and seek God’s perspective. I began work on A Voice in the Wind. Writing has become a way to worship the Lord through story – to show how intimately He wants to be involved in our lives.

Which book was the hardest to write and why?

The Atonement Child was the most personal and difficult to write because I had to face my own abortion experience. Added to the considerable research I did, and women who shared their experiences with me, I went through an intensive post-traumatic stress Bible study for post-abortive women at our local pregnancy counseling center. Reliving all aspects of my abortion decision and experience was excruciating – but healing. After twenty-six years of being imprisoned by guilt and shame, I was free through the power and love of God. Though the book was the most heart-wrenching to write, it also proved to be the most life changing. I’ve received countless letters from other post-abortive women and have learned my experience is not unique. Our nation is filled with wounded men and women. The character of Hannah is based on my story, Doug is based on Rick’s, and Evie is based on my mother’s.

A big thank you to Christian Speaker Services for putting this together. And if you'd like to drop your name in the hat for the book giveaway at the end of the week, just leave me a comment! I'll be using our favorite Random Name Generator, probably Friday, to pick a winner.

************************

Until I write again ...

Flea

PLEASE NOTE: A complimentary copy of this book was provided to the me as a blog tour host by Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for posting this interview on my blog. Please visit Christian Speaker Services at www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com for more information about blog tour management services.

Interesting Sights

The Hunny is taking me away today. He promised me a camping trip this weekend (yeah - I asked for that). It's supposed to rain all weekend, all over Oklahoma and every state we touch. So. We'll camp in the van. You think I kid? Huh.

Anywho! In other news, we have a sighting. What on earth have I sighted, you might ask? I was out in the garden a day or two ago when up strolled the most odd little fellow I've seen in quite awhile. Oatmeal Head greeted him at the top of the driveway, since my hands were covered in dirt, and introduced him as the King of the Sea. Suuuure he is. I'll let you decide.

I don't care what he's the king of. There's something a little off about him. Maybe he's compensating for something.

After the introductions, and his curiosity about my amaryllis, he took a stroll around the grounds, acquainted himself with the flora and fauna. He seemed to like the violets the most. Said they smell good.

Then. THEN. Then he declared the violets his new conquest. How can I argue with that? They're popping up all over the garden and the yard. He's welcome to a small posy of violets.

When the king got to the statuary, however, things just went wrong. First he managed to really irk Flaco, who's been part of the scenery for a couple of years now. Flaco did NOT like this behavior:

And Colonel Corn Wallace! Poor Fluffy Ewe. Never saw it coming. I think the king was going for total garden domination, bringing all of the garden creatures under his triton.

The last straw, though, was his attempted domination of the duck/flamingo/platypus. That was just wrong.

It's at this point that I picked him up, flailing and screaming angry sea epithets at me, and handed him to Oatmeal Head. He was stuffed into a back pack and I haven't heard from the angry little monarch since.

And the garden creatures all breathed a sigh of relief.

The End.

Until I write again ...

Flea

Business Up Front; Party in the Back (Contest Included)

I'm doing it. I'm starting my own business. It's still in the planning and development stages, but I'm creating and getting ahead of myself. So I thought I'd share. It's so much fun! AND! A contest!

Check out what I've been doing in my spare time, when I haven't been a big ol' slug.

That one is my mom's new lap board. I can make another, though. Mostly like it, but not identical.

And this!

A good friend took this one home. I can make another, similar to it. No two are alike, though. Especially since I wasn't wild about the medium I used to color this one.

And this!

Laura~Peach bought this one for the divine Miz EmJay. I have another one for Laura nearly done.

Isn't this fun?

This was my first sale. It's actually not Wilbur, but done from a photo of a baby pig. I squishy heart this one.

The latest isn't done, but it's the lid to a pencil box with a slide top, waiting for someone's name. Oatmeal Head had that look in his eyes, like it should have his name on it, but "Oatmeal Head" just wouldn't look right here. I'm thinking it's perfect for a kid's art supplies, or makeup brushes, or ... make something up.

The hair barrettes are really my favorite. I'm just going to throw a few out there.

These are the latest two, for my high school English teacher. We just reconnected on FaceCrack recently.

Cool, huh?

Now comes the contest. One of the earliest burnings that I did was this one:

Recognize those cows? I'm going to give this painted burning away. But you have to leave a comment. I've never been comfortable asking people to blog about my contests, or any other form of getting the word out. So just leave a comment. Tell me how talented I am. How much you love my burned animals. Shoot, tell me you want to buy one of these beauties or commission one. That would rock. Just make sure I can get in touch with you in any event, in case you win Fred & Bessie.

Contest ends a week from today, April 21st, at midnight where you live. I'll use the random number generator to pick the winner. And do feel free to mention this contest anywhere you like. I'm just not going to twist your arm is all. :)

Until I write again ...

Flea

P.S. That dragon on a box? I post photos to FaceCrack regularly and it's already sold! But! I can make another. So. Ya know.