Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A Month, That's How Long

Close your eyes and imagine with me.

Wait. Open your eyes. I want you to imagine something specific. Sorry.

Alright. Ready? Good!

Imagine you have a nasty cold. You unexpectedly have to sneeze and there's no time to grab a tissue, so you sneeze into your hands. Pull your hands away.

They're full of thick, clear snot. It's the most disgusting thing you've seen all week.

Now imagine that handful of snot combined with fresh egg whites. Gross, isn't it? Whale snot, that's what you should be imagining.

So who forgot to tell me that that's what the inside of an aloe vera leaf is filled with? ALL OF YOU, THAT'S WHO.

Thanks a lot.

I made soap yesterday. It was fun right up to the point where I had to scoop the gel from the insides of the aloe leaves. All the instructions I read said it was best done with a spoon. Guess what? They LIED. It's best done with your thumbnail. Know why?

BECAUSE THE SPOON SLIPS OUT OF YOUR SLIMY, WHALE SNOT-FILLED HAND ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH THE FIRST LEAF. THAT'S WHY.

No. I didn't get any pictures. Taking a photo with my wee, cute phone while handling whale snot was not an option. So sorry.

I'M NOT SORRY.

The soap? Yeah. It'll be ready to use in about a month. You heard me - a month. So since I can't actually USE the soap for four weeks, I'm stuck looking at it till it cures. See?


And these:


Any idea what else I can do with aloe vera leaves? Because I got a cup worth from a small part of the whale snot plant and need to use it for something else now. Maybe something with immediate results. Help!

Until I write again ...

Flea

10 comments:

Paxie said...

ROFL whale snot! I want a photo.

Seriously? You made soap? Is there anything Ms. Flea can't do?

Laura~peach~ said...

yeah what debbie said....

Mental P Mama said...

I'm too nauseous from the start of this to enjoy the soaps. gaaak

Jill of All Trades said...

Ooo that was funny, ick! Hmmm, my mother used to freeze aloe leaves and then use them on burns. I don't think they freeze really. Might try.

Leenie said...

Whale snot! Wow! The soap looks wonderful. Love the color. You'll have to show us what happens when you use the soap--in a month. Green bubbles? No bubbles? Whale snow dissolving in the sink?

As for the left over aloe vera. Good stuff for skin, or a fun gross-out medium. I'm sure you can see where that could go.

CanadianMama said...

Mmm, whale snot soap, you've totally inspired me...
They look wicked though!

Aloe can be used for burns. Now if only you knew someone who was likely to get burned. Like someone who liked to burn wood for fun...

Karen said...

http://www.brighthub.com/environment/green-living/articles/59158.aspx

Just a thought. I have heard it is really good for you if you can add it to juice and drink it. Thinking of the consistency.....I'm thinking I'd rather burn my other hand on a pan coming out of the oven. Just sayin'.

Your soap is so PRETTY!!

Crazed Nitwit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crazed Nitwit said...

Let me try to comment w/o multiple typos........LMAO. Reminds me of why I don't attempt to create anything beyond my limited abilities.

Some people swear by aloe vera's curative properties when ingested. Do you feel like ingesting whale snot in the name of health today? Did not think so.

Trisha said...

Despite the "lovely" description . . . the soap looks nice. Good luck with the wait while it cures!